I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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