You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
