So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
