I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
