It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
