i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
His hands were made for my vagina.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
