I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize