gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
