I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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