i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
