Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
