An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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