That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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