They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
