I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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