I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i just had sex bonerless
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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