I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
