fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
