i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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