after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Randomize
