I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
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