He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
