I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
