Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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