I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
we should paint friendship bongs
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize