Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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