best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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