Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
