im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
