i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
