Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
