its not stalking. its research.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
