I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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