bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize