I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
