Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
being pregnant is like rehab
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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