Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
