i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize