Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
If I die, sorry about rent.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
