Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
It's just like the Real World with babies
Sacagawea was the original milf.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize
