Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
