I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
