i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
