i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
