Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Vodka?
Forever.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Randomize
