People with herpes should wear stickers.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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