the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
