Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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