Whod you bang
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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