your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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