you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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