Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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