so explain again why im purple
no
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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