This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
