I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
