I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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