I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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