i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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