in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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