is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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