i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
