I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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