I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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