My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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